Let’s be honest: some people are just hard to love.
Maybe it’s the coworker who micromanages everything… including your breathing. Or the family member who only calls when they need something. Or perhaps it’s the woman at church who treats prayer requests like juicy gossip wrapped in spiritual language. (You know the one.)
These are the people who make us clutch our Bibles a little tighter and pray Psalm 141:3 on loop:
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
(because if God doesn’t do it, we might say something we regret.)
But here’s the thing — love isn’t just for the easy-to-love. It’s not a warm feeling reserved for kind people who say “bless your heart” and bring cookies to the potluck. Love, real love, is gritty, grace-filled, and inconvenient. And yes — it’s for the difficult ones, too.
📖 God’s Standard for Loving the “Unlovable”
Let’s start with a tough verse (brace yourself):
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”
— Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)
Oof. Jesus doesn’t say, “tolerate them” or “wave politely from a distance.” He says love them, bless them, do good to them… pray for them.
Cue the awkward silence while we sip our coffee and try to pretend He meant that for someone else.
But He didn’t.
☕ A Dose of Humour for the Heart
Let’s admit it — we all have our “Lord, give me strength” people. The ones who can find a problem for every solution. The ones who test the limits of your sanctification at family gatherings. The ones who make you consider becoming a hermit in the mountains with only your Bible and a French press.
You’re not alone. We’ve all prayed the “God, if you don’t help me, I might throw a loaf of communion bread at them” prayer.
And yet… God still calls us to be kind. Not just in words, but in action. Even if they never say thank you. Even if they never change.
💜 Patience is Not Weakness
“with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,” — Ephesians 4:2 (NKJV)
Patience doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. It means trusting that God is working in their lives — even when you can’t see it. It’s choosing to pause before reacting. It’s taking a breath instead of a jab. It’s remembering that someone once had to be patient with you too.
Spoiler alert: that someone was probably God.
🌧️ Grace for the Repeat Offenders
“But He gives more grace…” — James 4:6 (NKJV)
You know that person who apologizes… and then does the exact same thing next week?
Yeah. Them.
Grace doesn’t mean pretending the offense never happened — but it does mean offering forgiveness, even when it’s the 70th time (see Matthew 18:21-22). It’s the same grace God pours over us daily. Freely. Generously. Without keeping score.
If He can do it for us, we can do it for them — with His help.
💧Mercy in a World of Snappy Comebacks
“Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” — Luke 6:36 (NKJV)
Mercy is love in motion. It’s not giving people what they deserve — it’s giving them what they need: understanding, compassion, and space to grow.
Sometimes the difficult ones are hurting. Sometimes they’re misunderstood. Sometimes they’re just plain annoying. (Let’s not sugarcoat it.) But God’s mercy isn’t limited to the easy cases — and neither should ours be.
✨ Encouragement for the Tired Hearts
You’re not weak for struggling to love hard people. You’re human. But the more we lean into God’s heart, the more He fills ours with the patience, grace, and mercy we need.
You don’t have to muster it up from your own willpower. You just need to stay close to the source.
So, the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, leaves you on read, or gives you that tone — remember:
- Patience slows the reaction.
- Grace softens the heart.
- Mercy rewrites the ending.
And if that doesn’t work, there’s always coffee. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.
💬 Let’s Reflect
- Who in your life has been the most difficult to love lately?
- How can you show one small act of grace, patience, or mercy this week?
- What has God taught you through loving people who stretch your limits?
🙏 A Short Prayer
Lord, thank You for loving me on my most difficult days. Help me to extend that same love to others. I do this not because they deserve it, but because You have poured it so generously into my life. Give me patience that reflects Your peace, grace that humbles my pride, and mercy that mirrors Your heart. Amen.
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